The Times of Your Life

Do you remember?

How many of you remember the Paul Anka song, “The times of our lives?” It began like this:

“Good Morning yesterday, you wake up and time has slipped away..”

It was a 1975 musical reminder to not let life pass us by. For me, this message became clear late December, 2019. That balmy autumn morning I was waiting for the sunrise like a little boy on Christmas eve. As a photographer, I’d awakened just after 6am not wanting to miss this amazing caribbean event. I vividly remember that moment when the “blue hour” turned into the “golden hour,” with a tiny orb on the horizon soon becoming the sun. It was like a blank page of a story, waiting to be written. For the first time in decade of visiting Belize, I also found myself ready to return to Texas, and perhaps find a new international travel destination to call my second home. Houston was calling and it was an odd thing to hear. I found myself frustrated, sad, angry, and perhaps lonely in that moment. In a later conversation with my good friend, Cedric. I shared, “Belize has not changed but perhaps I have.”

On that San Pedro beach, I was also having a flashback to another time and place. A decade earlier in December 2009, I was just back from a lengthy journalism fellowship in Europe, my television news career was going strong, and I was married with young children. In the months to follow, I’d be divorced, emotionally struggling, and buying my first home, solo. Who knows what pots, blender and silverware to purchase? Seriously? And in the following years, my children would move away, my ex would remarry, a promising career gets side-swiped, and I stared death in the face more than once. Photography filled the gaps, while travel created new memories. Several family and friends went to be with Jesus in later years. At the same time, life continues on earth as the kids grew into young adults from afar, people (including this writer) fell in and out of love, and we as a society adapted to an ever changing work-life environment. Speaking of change, did I change or evolve over the last decade? What about you? I know one thing: A lot happened. My long time friend, advisor and world traveler, Sonia said, “with all the spectacular ups and horrific downs you’ve experienced, not many would have survived the decade and come out on the other side.”

Do we change or evolve?

I had a very interesting discussion the other day about change. I was always of the belief we change. We change from who we were to who we’ve become. “She” a dear friend, believes we evolve from our life experiences. The question is, “are we both saying the same thing?” I don’t want to think that I’m so stubborn that she can’t be right. I gave her words a great deal of thought on my late evening drive home.

Changing Doesn’t Work

First, let’s clarify the difference between changing and evolving. To change implies becoming a different person or changing a significant characteristic. For example, this could entail trying to change someone from being an introvert to extrovert. An introverted person prefers to work alone and recharges by doing activities independently. They thrive from solitary time. To change them into an extravert by forcing them to work in constant collaboration with people and/or continually be around people without breaks would push them to work against their natural strengths. It would ultimately not work and make the person very unhappy. They might be able to sustain the change for a short period of time but eventually would go back to their natural style.

Evolving Does

Contrast that with the concept of evolving. To evolve means that you are making adjustments that work better for you to improve your results. In the example of the introvert, they may find their introverted nature is sometimes hindering their success because they are having a hard time working on a team, speaking up at meetings and/or struggling in social settings. They need to evolve into someone who can fake extraversion when necessary. For them, stepping into their power could be sharing their knowledge and lives with people to make deeper connections and improve communication. This slight adjustment (evolution) allows for growth without compromising their natural preferences. The benefit is that the introvert will likely find they enjoy being around people, being heard and sharing ideas as long as it’s not too much and they get breaks. An introvert faking extraversion when needed pushes themselves to become a better version of themselves. They will still thrive on classic introverted activities but will be able to adjust to extraversion in order to drive better results.

Evolving Allows Us To Fail

Recognizing that we are constantly working to evolve ourselves is a major part of the journey and is critical to success. In acknowledging that it’s not a change, but an evolution, enables us to allow for growth through trial and error. This gives us the needed forgiveness to fail. When we make it about change, it’s too black and white. In a mindset of change, we are set up to fail because it’s impossible to change all the time. With a mindset of evolving, we have the ability to succeed because it’s working gradually off of our strengths, which can lead not only to bigger wins but to a more satisfying life.

Evolving Is Meant To Be Selfish

Most importantly, the goal is not to evolve for anyone else’s sake; this is a selfish endeavor. We step into our power for ourselves only. We create better versions of ourselves for our own happiness and well-being. And from that hard work, we find that everyone grows around us.

For a decade, Belize had been a crutch. It was the sun bathed, white sand blanket I ran to when life was tough or terrifying. Ambergris Caye, a place where “everyone knows your name.” I no longer need to run, at least not for the reasons that defined the last decade.. I have “evolved,” and it’s a good thing.

The moral of this short story, don’t look to change. In a world of constant upheaval, we are constantly evolving to adapt. Hopefully the person you are today is the sum value of all the things you experienced for a lifetime. In 2020, my children are doing well, my parents, alive and vibrant, my sister, now retired and a loving grandmother to three angels “cloaked” as young boys. As for me, a decade of travel, reflection, inner growth and evolution, with several successful years into an exciting career path. Those who knew Glenn in 2009, may not recognize him today: Reflective, Humble, Thoughtful, Thankful.

Don’t forget to tell someone you love them. It might make their day. 2 years ago, the newest “brother from another mother” joined Dwayne Blake and Stephen Davis as a confidant. Respect and admiration to Cedric Jamerson. He claims I’m the big brother, but this well respected young engineer was the teacher long before he knew it.

Glenn, “The Accidental Tourist”

“Gather moments while you may
Collect the dreams you dream today
Remember, will you remember
The times of your life?”
~ Paul Anka, 1975